My First (Real) Blog

Hi y'all,

As this is my first real attempt at blogging, please bear with me while I try to nail down what I want this thing to turn into. On a related note, most of you know me very well- I am completely (and sometimes brutally) honest. I will probably say some things that are shocking, personal, and maybe a little disturbing. If you don't feel comfortable with that, I completely understand- but this blog is probably not something you're going to want to keep up with.

Now with all the formalities out of the way, let's shoot the shit. I love my job. Like, I really am excited to get up and go to work every morning. And- as a couple of you definitely already know- I've already sniffed out all my fellow gays in the company. I'm not going to name them by name or say anything that might identify them, because I don't know them personally and I don't know if they're comfortable yet being who they are, but they are both absolutely lovely, wonderful individuals and I really hope to get to know them better in the future.

Someone(s) I will name and shame are my two new best friends- Jeni and Michele. They both started with me at EBSCO, and they are two of the most precious and hilarious people I've ever had the joy of encountering. I don't know if they'll ever read this, but in case they do- I. Love. You. Seriously. You make going to work even more enjoyable for me, and I probably wouldn't be nearly as happy without you. You also make me feel very comfortable to be myself at work, which is no small feat- let me tell you. So kudos- you're a couple of awesome bitches!

I don't even feel the need at this point to shout out to the people that have been in my inner circle for a long time. You know how much I absolutely adore and cherish you, and how much less of a man I would be without you all. I love you all with every piece of my heart, and wish you all the happiness and joy this world has to offer. Seriously. Thank you.

I'm not gonna lie, guys- sometimes, it is really difficult to live in a household that's anti-gay. I pretended to be straight (so convincingly I believed myself) for far too long. Now that I'm out and coming to terms with how much I love it, I cannot begin to explain how painful it is to have to switch myself back into that world when I'm at home. Don't get me wrong- I absolutely love my two roommates. They saved me from the nightmare that was living with my parents and have been absolutely amazing to me the entire time I've lived here. But I know they would absolutely never speak to me again if I came out to them, and I'm not at a point in my life where I can support myself on my own, so it's something I just have to bear.

On that topic, can I just say that I love being gay? I absolutely just love every minute of being me. Well, not every minute I suppose- you guys know how much of an emotional roller coaster I can be. But I am so much significantly happier with life now that I've admitted who I am and am comfortable enough to express that openly. Seriously. So many people go through life incredibly afraid to express how they really feel- and I'm not just speaking to sexuality here. Whatever your personality is, whatever your desires are, whatever your dreams may be- just let them out. Express you every minute of every day, and you will find more happiness than you could ever dream of.

Okay, I'm going to stop talking now. I know you're all tired of hearing me by now. Until next time, my loves!

XOXO,

Brian